interview by Dale
What types of roles should brain damage play in rock-n-roll?
Keeth Veeth: Brain damage is important in many senses. I subscribe to the philosophical theory known as "The New Moronism" as researched by noted philospher J.H. Shrugundfinich. That is, to pontificate and intellectually expound upon the most moronic ofthings. However, brain damage as a rock'n'roll pose it's boring and disgustingly putrid. Anyone can act like moron, but only the truly warped are worth paying attention to. Myself? I am brain damaged by excessive consumption of beer and a willingness to go the extra moron mile...My lyrics are ridiculously stupid, yet intellectually sound at the same time. I'm a fucking genius!
Should art hurt?
KV: Of course it is! Any "artist" or "musician" is a sadist or a masochist. I'm both. I flog myself in the head with the microphone and I flog the stupid audience with the microphone, along with whatever other objects that are in my reach... Pain is good and more people should like it!
If AKE had access to a string section for a day how would they utilize it?
KV: Well, we've got a song on our record called "Once Upon a Time in the Midwest" that has our keyboard player using the violin function to good effect. It's our false Spaghetti Western song having to do with the upcoming battle between the Great Lakes states... and one insane, Wisconsin-bred young man's important part in it. Therefore it is a "Cheese Western Soundtrack" song. So, if we had a string section, we could create the entire soundtrack in a grand fashion. It will be the most important film ever made. It is the story of how everybody wants our Great Lakes water... and some states want to sell out! Fuck you, you Michigan fucknob! Your state blows hard! We're taking over the U.P. now! Escanaba is key! It's connected to Wisconsin! It's ours!
Go ahead and take the U.P. Then Wisconsin can take the blame for the dorks in FLooDBaR...See if I care. It should be it's own state anyways. Y'know what I'm wondering though is how do vegans survive in Wisconsin? Does the state have them on some type of list like they with sex offenders?
KV: We put em' out in the fields with the cows. They can graze on plants all day, and when they reach a certain age we wallop them on the head with a hammer and grind em' up! Makes for some good sausage. I once worked for Usingers Sausage here in Milwaukee. We made some good Vegan Meat Sausage, lemme tell ya!
What's your favorite cut of beef?
KV: Porterhouse steaks are mighty fine eating. Bring acouple along when you go camping and put em' over the fire. Wrap some spuds in aluminum foil and chuck em' right in the hot coals. When done, throw the steak and the potatoes on a plate, garnish with some seasoning and wash it all down with a bunch of cold Rhinelander Beers! The next morning, remember to wake up and go fishing for walleyes. Use leeches as bait, cause' they're the best. Lick em' for good luck, that's what I do!
Why do you suppose licking leeches make them lucky?
KV: I suppose my warm saliva is an exciting change from the cold and hollow slime inside that styrofoam can. They perform better, wiggle more and are therefore"lucky."
Ever use lures? Any of them ever improve you catch count?
KV: In general, lures don't work as good as live bait. My personal exception is when I'm fishing for Northern Pike. For them, I use spoons (a type of metal lure that imitates a dying minnow), usually in silver or gold colors, but sometimes in red and white, or even green and gold. It depends on the water you be fishing on...
Ever snag an alewife in the eye?
KV: Never snagged an alewife in the eye. I actually don't sink my line into Lake Michigan very often. I save my bait for the pristine lakes of the northwoods! However, when I was a lad, we'd often snag Carp outta the Manitowoc River which ran through my hometown of Chilton, Wisconsin. We'd leave em' on the shore by the library, or in mailboxes or people's cars. Good times were had by all...Ever catch a Burbot?
Nope...
KV: Me neither, but I'm still tryin'...
Ever fish Lake Huron?
KV: I've never fished the mighty Huron. I'd sure like to, actually. I hear there is some good Pike and Smallmouth Bass fishing on the Canadian side, where they got all them islands. I'm not much for downriggin' for Salmon out in the middle of the lake, but I'd like to plug around the harbors and shorelines for Smallies, Wallies and Northerns if I could...
What mode of transportation would you like people to associate with Aluminum Knot Eye?
KV: Snowmobile. Hey, it gets cold out here and the white stuff does fall. And we kinda sound like a buzz-ass snowmobile anyway. The first snowmobile ever made wasmade right here in Wisconsin. It's on display at alittle museum in Sayner, Wisconsin, along with amounted 2-headed trout, amongst other relics. We're the first AluminumKnotEye ever made, and we hope to end up in that northwoods museum someday...
When's the last time you had a cheese curd?
KV: I had some cheese curds today actually. Deep fried cheese curds. I prefer them deep fried, or just a bag of cold curds. Sometimes I prefer them with a touch of dill. I've even enjoyed them with a dash of jalepenos. Cheese curds must be made with good Wisconsin cheese. Or they'll just taste like ass...
Emo kids? What are some good uses for them?
KV: Breaking their glasses. Burning their sweaters. Making cups outta their noggins Ed Gein-style!Stealing the vans that their parents bought them toplay shows at youth centers around the nation! Also, more sausage stuffing, kinda like the vegans..
Have you ever been annoyed by a Muppet?
KV: First off, I enjoyed the Muppett Show when I was a kid. I really appreciated characters like Beaker and Gonzo and such. Swell guys and a hoot to party with! My woman bought me a DVD featuring three Muppett Show episodes. The hosts were Alice Cooper, Marty Feldmanand Vincent Price. Gotta love it! However, here in Milwaukee, we had a Muppett floating about for awhile that kinda annoyed me. His name was Skull Rider -- a floppy haired puppett boy who took over vocal duties in a sideshow musical act called Sagger from, well, ME. ME! It's all in the past now, of course, cause' where is Skull Rider now? Hiding behind another mask or playing dress-up out in the suburbs... Actually, Andy is good kid, just a little misguided...But this is old news...I don't know why I'm rehashing it. Nostalgia?
What kind of reaccuring dreams/nightmares do you have?
KV: My reaccuring dream usually involves me in a band (usually AluminumKnotEye) and we're setting up, and it takes hours and hours. A disaster. And I'm ready to go, but we never play! This is perhaps a holdover from the early AKE days, when we didn't know what we were doing. We'd take a long time to set up, and then we'd kinda flog our way through a gig and people would yell at us. Now we are a professional unit! Other times the same thing happens when I'm in other bands in my dreams. One recent one had me as a replacement for Richard Lloyd in Television. And the line-up had Richard Hell back on bass. But, I just couldn't figure out how to tune the guitar. So, Tom Verlaine kept yelling at me and the dream ended before a note was plucked. Scary stuff. Also, I had one where I was a member of Blue Balls and the same kinda shit happened! I just couldn't figure out how to turn on my amp! And Casey the Boar was a real dick about it and it was a scary fucking nightmare!
Can you define "Prevailing Community Standards"?
KV: If you live in a subdivision, some of your neighbors may object to the appearance of your yard. If you don't cut your grass or adorn it with garish plastic pink flamingos, they may put pressure you, through the "Community Standards Act of 1998", to alter its appearance to conform to the norms of their society. If I lived in a subdivision, which I do not, I would respond by placing containers full of rotting dead leeches into the mailboxes of my neighbors, preferably when the weather is particularly hot and humid...
Okay...I've read a thing here and there about AKE being the anti-garage band. Members of particular Wisconsin bands who would be considered "garage" by zine geeks have considered you some type of influence though...
KV: I've never considered us to be an "anti-garage" band. Some other schmoe musta thought that one up. Yes, I've made fun of the "garage movement" at times. I find most "scenes" to be boring and dull, of course. The whole garage thing here in Milwaukee got kinda outta hand. I used to go to every show the Mistreaters played in town, because I liked them. Then their shows became more "social events" and stopped being fun for me. It's not their fault, though. Certain folks began acting different and sucking each other's dicks. Emo bands "went garage" overnight. It was nothing but a sham. AluminumKnotEye refused to suck the garage cock and we kinda got blacklisted by the hipsters who had taken over. Therefore, we mighta got labeled "anti-garage" just for not joining the club. Or maybe I'm just paranoid? I dunno. I dunno what bands we've influenced. I know some of the guys in the Mystery Girls and the Catholic Boys used to see us back in the day when we'd play up in Green Bay, and I'd be extremely pleased if we influenced them in any way, cause they both be excellent bands...Fuck it! We've been playing since December of 1996, and in a somewhat garage-like manner. We play a crude form of rock'n'roll on shitty equipment. Our recordings are low-budget and shitty sounding. We just play our songs a bit different. We're stupid in a different way! The word "garage" never became an annoyance to me until everyone thought their band came from one! Until then, I just thought it was where you put your snowblower or where Dick Trickle worked on his race car! Nobody really comes from the garage. Well, to answer to them fucks, we'll say we practice in an ice fishing shanty. Therefore we are "Shanty Rock." It's a term you must get used to...
Speaking of Milwaukee rock muscians...Ever notice a bunch of them have an excess of hair (facial, head, body)? What's up with that?
KV: Yeah, we got some hairballs over here. I'd like to place the blame on our cold temperatures, but... I just think we've got some Cro-Magnons who could do nothing but be morons in bands. That's it! I, on the other hand, have a perfectly arrranged hair organisation. I've got plenty on the head, on the legs and the pube, but remain sleek and sexy in other areas. I don't have ridiculous back hair or nothin' like that!
Amphetamines or Acid?
KV: Despite claims otherwise, I have never really experimented with many drugs. Sorry to disappoint you! I'm a mere drunk. Anyway, if I had to choose it would come down to a Hawkwind vote. Those guys know how to play Space Rock and they also know how to do drugs. They liked acid and amphetimines. But they seemed to lean towards acid, so I'll choose that. I'm gonna do acid on my 80th birthday, if I live that long...
What types of things do you do when no one is around?
KV: I often create maps of places that don't exist, especially maps of lakes. I put in features that would be really good fishing spots... weed beds, rock bars, stumps, drop-offs, etc... in lakes that don't exist. It's my private fantasy! Otherwise, I sitaround in my rumpus room listening to records with my cat, Nico. Her favorite bands are Devo and the Cramps. She answers back to the cat-call guitar in Devo's "Mechanical Man." She attacks the speakers
cause' she thinks there is another cat in there! She also likes to hang out when I do vocals for AluminumKnotEye shit. Her claws are fucking sharp, man! And I do masturbate when I'm alone as well, as I'm sure that's the answer you wanted for that question...
