The HUNCHES "Yes, No, Shut It." (In The Red CD) Did ya ever see that headline in the World Weekly News where someone is drilling into the ground and drill STRAIGHT INTO HELL? It seems every few years they recycle the story and everytime I see it at a checkout counter I always say "Uh no! Satan has been unleashed" then wonder out loud if he's gonna go check out a Slayer or Black Sabbath concert. Lucifer walking around Ozzfest thinking "What a bunch of dolts!" and Slayer would let him down these days too cuz even they went Nu-Metal (listen to "God Hates Us All" if ya don't believe me). Let's say he stumbled across the Hunches. He'd be calling back to Hell's main office to make he hadn't already made a deal with these guys. Imagine being chased into a windtunnel that the Jesus and Mary Chain may have practiced in during "Psychocandy" by the Laughing Hyenas with flamethrowers in their hands. The Hunches are running for their lives and toward the light at the end. The fall into the mud and sewage, get back up and keep running. There's no time to brush the grime off. The light always seems just of they're reach. When they finally reach the end Iggy is standing there after a 5 day meth binge, he's got Birthday Party with him and they're all waiting to go down to the gun range. They find the Hunches even too surly for them, so they douse them in gasoline, tie them to the railroad tracks where a train carrying a ton of dymamite is coming around the bend. Then someone tosses a cigarette... (The Hunches)
TROUBLE BOUND GOSPEL "In The Middle Finger Jungle" (Sportin' Life 7inEP) Sportin' Life does it again by releasing another Finlandic warped vision of the blues. Howlin' Wolf rotisserie's JSBX on a spit til all the funk drips off making the flames rise....this is heavy duty especially on "Space babe Hunter." In other moments they sound like the Raunch Hands drunk on the Cramps blood and locking themselves away from the sunlight in a musty basement (Sportin' Life)
The SUNDAY DRUNKS s/t (Dead Beat CD) Ahh! Sunday and getting drunk. Hanging out in the backyard, throwing back cans of whatever's on sale down at the corner store, pitching horseshoes, the neighbors shaking their heads in disgust as they come home from church and seeing the people next door already half in the bag. Who cares what they think. They can't appreciate the simple things in life that come naturally to the Sunday Drunks. A rock-n-roll groove like the Lazy Cowgirls on some primo bud and a lot more twang is their calling card. The neighbors may sneer and scowl but these Texans (and former Mullens to boot) simply wave a laid back "Howdy" in return. (Dead Beat)
THE FEVERS "Gaan Daar Waar De Meisjes Zijn" (Alien Snatch LP) Their single on Lipstick from a couple of years back was a nice little glob of lo-fi bubblegum trash but it still didn't prepare me for this. It's like someone unearthed one of the lost great punk rock influenced pop bands of the 25 years. There's been several times where I've looked around the album jacket for clues. These HAVE to be covers songs. Bands don't (or in a lot of cases can't) write songs like this much anymore. It's like driving around with Wreckless Eric in the tape deck, the Jam on the mind Buddy Holly in the heart. In a wrinkled button down collar shirt and a little black book fulla phone numbers the Fevers, in a perfect world, would be blasting out of radios, people would be tapping their hands on the steering wheel and dashboard and overproduced shallow "deep thinking" jackasses like Creed and Third Eye Blind would perish under an avalanche of jewelcases from their own product. (The Fevers)
The SPITS "The Spits II" (Slovenly CD) What is it with these guys? Most reports I've heard is about how "FREAKIN' AWSOME" they are. I'm like "Eh....They're okay."
"Okay? OKAY?! You gotta see 'em live. It'll change your opinion. You'll understand how great they are then" is what I've been told by some of their more rabid fans.
The thing is-I have seen them live. As a matter of fact I was at the show that left a lot of these people raving (Horizontal Action Blackout 2002). They were "Eh..okay." Some of my rock-n-roll brethren look at me like I've lost it. "Dude! Their first album is great and the new one is even better." Their first album didn't do much for me but I still looked forward to hearing the follow up thinking maybe I was missing something. Well, here it is spinning on my CD drive right now and I guess I just don't get it. It's quirky retro keyboard and 3-chord punk but it just doesn't really do too much for me. To me, it sounds like one of those faux punk bands from the late 70's that were actually older guys who couldn't take doing Kool and the Gang covers anymore so they went out and bought some new wave glasses. You know, the beginning days of the mullet and refusing to shave the moustache dudes...A lot of that stuff is over-rated too (but in these post "Killed By Death" days EVERYTHING is being exhumed) One thing I do have to say after drinking with and around these guys for a weekend is that they may or may not be actually insane. I'm still contemplating which it is. (Slovenly)
BAD MACHINE "Rip Your Heart" (Deadbeat CD) I'm lighting up a joint right now. If it wasn't 4am and the dead of winter I'll call up one of my pothead friends, we'd hit the highway, drive a 95 mph down backroads and put something like this on. Finnish dirtbags that got the dual guitar action complete with pick slides and heavy doses of super-rock wah-wah! I bet they put whiskey in their bong. (Dead Beat)
TEXAS MOTHERFUCKERS "Promo 2002" (demo) Speaking of whiskey in a bong! This Swedish band of the submerged tenth probably drink it after taking hits through it. Instead of staying in their room practicing stage moves and studying Supersuckers tablature-they were punching each other in the face to the sounds of the Stooges and Black Flag at a biker bar. This succeeds were a lot codpiece and a case of cheap beer rock fails cuz they sound like they don't give a flying fuck about cowboys hats and haircare products. They just wanna blow out your eardrums!!! (Texas Motherfuckers)
The MUTANTS "Timba Am Gaya" (Dull City 7in) Nope! This isn't the San Franscisco band nor the one from Detroit. Who the fuck gave Martin Denny the LSD and dropped him off at Golden Earring's house? And whose wise idea was it to tell them some outlandish story about barrio's in the Wild West and international espionage? (The Mutants)
THE RIFF RANDELLS "Lethal Lipstick" (Alien Snatch 10in EP) Bold black and fushia horizontal stripes! Maybe coy but not shy, the Riff Randells like "doing it" but don't turn it into a skankfest like some tuff chicks bands are doing up to the point of parody these days. It's sweet tassting yet venomous lipgloss that bops like the Go-Go's and rev's like the Ramones (Alien Snatch)
LOTHAR "Guts" (Lorna CD) Ole Smashin' Transistors is deluged with Scandinavian music this time around aren't we. Lothar come from Finland and are weirdos in a bar band. Funk-jazz synths get in a pile up with Big Rock guitars as a gargly throated letcher rattles off a gallon of 100 proof vodka inspired harangue's about boobs, butts and, of course, booze. (Lothar)
SLOGGY "Jalopy-Music" (Dull City 7inEp) What a weird little slab this is. Outre' DIY pop ala Young marble Giants if they has a ton of distortion, a better drum machine and a hornier attitude. Instead of songs about provincial department stores and afternoon TV personalities it's all about mud, space travel and sex. I bet all the knick-knacks were rattling off the self in the Luxembourg living room where this was recorded (Dull City)
THE KILL-A-WATTS "Let's Get High Voltage" (Flying Bomb 7inEP) The title says it all. They are, after all, they are the bellweather of ELECTROROCK and they drain the power supply just as expected. The lights get dim when this plays as it sucks all the electricity fom the power lines outside and push their blazing blare through the speakers. The songs blast by so fast it sounds as though they're ready to explode. No wonder only one of them passes the minute and a half mark. (The Kill-A-Watts)
THE HIGH BEAMS "Hallucination" (Deadbeat CD) Straight up 70's vibe going down here. The Real Kids and the rockers from the Stones "It's Only Rock-n-Roll" seem to loom large in their world. Matt from the Mullens is in the band and it goes to the same greasy spoons, dingy bars and dirty polebarns that you'd expect. (Dead Beat)
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