Reviews

for

Nov/Dec

2003

A FEAST OF SNAKES "s/t" (In The Red 12in EP) The guitars squiggle like there's the Devil in the slidebar and scream like they're taking a cattleprod to the heart. Elements of the Gun Club crash through a glass ceiling and splatter onto a buffet table spread of roast pig, bathtub meth and Pabst Blue Ribbon longnecks that was prepared for the Stooges during the "Raw Power" sessions. Bluesy and primal; A Feast Of Snakes tear off heads with their bare hands, wipe the blood on their ragged jeans and then hide out in a abandoned chicken coop while the cops drag the swamp in search of their "handiwork." (In The Red)-dm

The CHEERAKS "Miss Bretzel" (Yakisakana 7inEP) On one side of this single's cover they print their band name in the AC/DC style font. On the other side the do it in an Iron Maiden type one. They don't sound like either. Well, maybe a bit like AC/DC because they got the rocked out blues progressions down but AC/DC never sounded this messed up. One of the songs is called "I Love Hair Dryer Noise" and they're aren't kidding. It's probably the biggest influence on their sound. (Yakisakana)-wkm

The LEG HOUNDS "Ready To Go" (Bulge CD)  Is it strange that even though all 3 of the Leg Hounds albums were recorded in one marathon weekend session there's a progression that can be heard through them? One explanation could be that they recorded their songs in the order that the originally wrote them. The first album was the one where everyone jumped up and yelled The Devil Dogs when they heard it and the band didn't deny it one bit. The second one. "Date Your Daughters" also garnered the a lot same reaction but it's also where these Sheboygan, Wisconsin skirt chasers started to develop that sound into something of their own. On "Ready To Go" the third album of their Bulge Records trilogy the Leg Hounds sound like the Leg Hounds. Those harmonies, those blasting guitars...Smidgens of the Teengenerate, dashes of Phil Spector, Chuck Berry doses and Southside Johnny relocating from the Jersey shore to the banks of Lake Michigan can all be heard running through the carburetor and firing the spark plugs of this motor but it's the lead foot of the Leg Hounds that is leaving the skidmarks on the streets and the smell of roasted tire treads in the air. Whether your parties consist of drinkin', smokin', fightin', or lovin'-this record is all you'll need for the next one. (The Leg Hounds site and their Smashin' Transistors interview)-dm 

SHAKIN' NASTIES "Better Than Television" (Radio Blast LP) A couple of years back Nils of Superhelicopter LTD was part of this band. I have a tape of them that he described as his "kick drum band" and "almost pop music". His idea of what "almost pop music" is way different that anyone else's.Except for a song being dedicated to Nils Douchecopter his over the top hellacious approach to rock-n-roll isn't stamped all over "Better Than Television" but the Shakin' Nasties "almost pop music" wont be sharing the same stage with cock wrestlers like Sum 41 anytime soon either.

    Now if I was to say this has a Real Kids thing going on I'm sure it would lead to some mail complaining that "This sounds NOTHING like the Real Kids and I feel that you owe me $10" (don't laugh-shit like that happens around here all the time). Well, there is a Real Kids thing going on and not just because the do a version of "Bad To Worse." Granted, when someone puts this on they won't hear a Mersybeat jangle thrown in a lobster pot. What they're gonna get is a snotty singer who voice sounds like it's still rasslin' with puberty while their instruments detonate into an explosive, splattery mess resembling  the Rip Off plugged directly in line sound and stewed off the chords that Felice used. (Radio Blast)-dm

The FITTS "II" (Big Neck 7in.) The music is pretty and sort of dark sound but the chick singing sounds totally death metal! Her voice reminds me of the female singer in the Lost Sounds (editor note: Because it is). She sounds all nice and soft then she screams and growls making my blood curdle. I think there should be more girls singing death metal but only if they sound like the one that sings for this band. (Big Neck)-wkm

HUMAN HOST/FRIDGE A split (Baths Of Power CD) Human Host is Mike from the Charm City Suicides new band. The Charm City Suicides were one of the most interesting bands to come down the pike in a long while. The sounded like the Fall yet didn't sound like the Fall at all. The had a trashy quirk of a stomp like the Gories yet would unlikely have anyone thinking the Gories when listening to 'em. The sounded like they could be from outerspace but were actually from Maryland. Human Host keep that tradition of confusion alive and well. The sound like they are playing Can and Black Sabbath records backwards at the same time and making plans to break into a pawn shop at night where they'll take the transcriptions they made of those sounds and play them forward again. After they're done they'll pilfer whatever they can carry on the backs of their bicycles and give the stuff to Fridge A who will take it down to an abandoned schoolyard and create something different but as equally perplexing. (Baths Of Power)-dm

MODEY LEMON "Thunder+Lightning" (Birdman CD) There's a very metal aspect about this record. Not like throwing the patented devil horns hand gesture that Dio claims he invented. Not the digitally processed whisper to digitally processed scream angst for the mall gruel sold as rebellion. The Modey Lemon are a drummer and a guitar player (who accents his guitar string junking with Moog effects here and there) that make a driving, grinding, hard sound that may make ya think of a steel plant at the height of World War II . A clang and a bang. It makes sense though, The Modey Lemon do call Pittsburgh home. A city built built strong in the early days of industry hit bad by market shifts and cost effective decisions through the years. You gotta stand up and bust your ass to keep your head above water. The Modey Lemon sound isn't that of a fragile rose growing in the middle of decay and neglect. They are like a tough old steel bridge. The only way it's sturdy frame is gonna be moved is by dynamite and steel cranes (Interview w/Modey Lemon at Smashin' Transistors and their site)-dm

The PONYS "Wicked City" (Big Neck 7in) I had a CD-R copy of this single for over a year. If it came out then it would've definitely made the Top 5 best singles of 2002. Well, it's 2003 and it's now available to the general public and it will make my top 5 of this year (actually, the Ponys will probably find themselves in a tie with themselves cuz their single on Contaminated will be making the year end high rankings as well). The b-side's "Little Friends" alone is enough to place it there for it's WIRE "154"-isms being drenched in a tube amp pond and it's varnished with LSD carnival organ fizz. (The Ponys)-dm

SONS OF HERCULES "Right Now (Suprema CD) At the 2003 SXSW I wandered into a bar called Casino El Camino. The Dirtbombs are playing out on the deck of the place sometime later in the afternoon so I decide this is a good place as any to start getting oiled and ready for the rest of the days events. I take my beer and whiskey shot out to the deck and I see these old guys setting up some equipment. When I say old I mean like full on gray hair and wrinkles. They looked like they could possibly rock a house though (35 years ago).

    "Oh great!" I think to myself "Uncle Zip and his bus trip to the Indian casino buddies are gonna get up and play a couple of tunes."

    They ripped into the first song and my cynicism was squashed. These fogeys give it everything they got! Their songs rocked like Texas grilled version of the New York Dolls. Their sound is pretty traditional but it makes total sense because playing that way it comes as second nature to them.  They're ain't no pretension, they know they're never gonna have limousines and a fridge full of $500 per bottle champagne. Rock-n-Roll is something that's in their blood and it's what keeps their heart's pumping. So I begin to wonder if they pull off in the studio. Well, they got Mike Mariconda to produce this at Sweatbox so the answer is yes. If these guys were half the age they are they'd deserve all the attention a crappy band like Jet is getting but even at the age they are they can still whip the shit of plenty a younger band. ( Suprema or Contact the Sons Of Hercules @ (512) 626-6371)-dm

The MISTREATERS "Hard On The Eyes" (Yakisakana 7in) Lock up not only your daughters but your livestock as well...The 'Treaters are on the loose again and the fur & feathers are gonna fly! "Hard On the Eyes" is a menacing butt-rocking boogie session gettin' down while Angus Young and the Cramps drop burning cinderblocks from two stories up. You might wanna hide the silverware too cuz when they ask "Who Want's Knives" on the b-side they aren't asking for a utensil to spread some butter on some toast but big rusty ones so they can carve their names into someone's flesh. (The Mistreaters)-dm

The WHITE OUTS "Solid State" (Shit Sandwich 7in) Dammit! Those dollar well drinks down at the bowling alley have a tendency to cause serious clouding of my judgement. Seeing double, fumbling for my keys in the parking lot...Shit! The rain is coming down in buckets and the wiperblades on the car on worn to the point were they smear making visibility so bad that I'm better off by not even bothering to turn them on.

    Shove a well worn copy of ZZ TOP's "Rio Grande Mud" in to the tape deck, turn it up to the level where the abused car speakers distort and crackle and cover my head while I blow through red lights and busy intersections. Is it the thrill of making it home alive or the fear of a possible bloody car crash that puts my heart rate up? With members of the Guilty Pleasures, the Hamicks and the Motards in this band-it's hard to figure out which. (Shit Sandwich)-dm

The STEREO JUNKS "Shut Up and Sit Down" (StarTrash CD5) These guys are from Finland. Weren't Hanoi Rocks from there? I don't really know much about Hanoi Rocks 'cept Vince "Supersize that Combo" Neil killed their drummer and when Guns and Roses were the biggest band in the world their record company gave them a vanity label so the could release their back catalog. These guys really sound like GnR. The singer even does that low vaudeville voice that Axl would do on "Mr Brownstone" on "Shut Up and Sit Down." The song goes on for WAAAY too long.  It's mullet rock if mullet rock had a serious gay camp thing. All three of the songs on this are like that (and they are all WAAAY to fucking long). I am the only one who doesn't dig lame FM rock shit being sold as "guitar driven, nitro burning garage rock"? Face up to it dudes-YOU ARE CHEESE METAL! (Stereojunks)-wkm

The CYRIL LORDS "No More Good Times" (Cass 7in) For awhile in the music rags it was all "Detroit this and Detroit that" but the hype has seemed to die down a bit. I think it had some strange effect on some people, some of whom decided to repeat a (semi)successful formula without bringing anything different to the proceedings because someone else got noticed doing it. The Cyril Lords don't fall into that trap. They're sort poppy in a Big Star "Radio City" way. Not as majestic or frilly though but more squiggly and fired up. The Cyril Lords sound like they've had their share of sitting on cold vinyl car-seat upholstery on a winter morning staring at the snow flying gray sky and wishing it was summer with the subtle surf washes in their songs. Usually any type of surf washes makes me grab for the tone arm but there's a grittiness to this, a looseness like that of the cracked pavement of a long ignored and abandoned city street. The earth that was once covered by a cold slab, is poking through and over taking what was once it's own to begin with. When was the street built? How long was it abandoned? Who knows! The cracks can be filled with tar that wasn't once there, the potholes filled with asphalt from somewhere else and a new set of lines can be painted. That's the sorta songs that are on this single. A solid foundation that simply needed some new glue and a little attention to become viable again. The Cyril Lords write songs that could have come out in any year since 1966 but do something to it to not ever exactly pinpoint where they are coming from. (Cass)-dm

The STUDDOGS "The Gospel According To..." (Mutiny CD) The Stud Dogs are from the biggest strip mall' d tourist trap in the world-Orlando, Fla. Walt Disney's bunko squad probably want to erase their existence. They aren't all plastic and cheerful. They're the types that piss off the folks who re-mortgage their homes so they can spoil  their brats. They're the ones who stand behind the fryer cooking up the greasy food. They're the ones who behind the register ringing up the cheap overpriced made in china trinkets. They're the ones who have to give directions on how to get back to the highway a 100 times a day to Aunt Erma from North Dakota. Behind the smile saying "Thank you. Have a nice day" they're a mental scowl saying "Fuck off and die!" When it's quitting time they don't unwind at the Hard Rock Cafe, sipping on Sprite Remix and watching Justin Timberlake on the big screen. It's hanging out in a dingy hole in the wall, slamming back cheap drafts and rotgut whiskey and listening to the Heartbreakers, Howlin' Wolf and Buck Owens crackling through some nicotine coated speakers. This part of town isn't mentioned on the tourist maps and people driving through there finding Nemo are likely to find their windshield getting smashed out. (The Stud Dogs)-dm

NAZIS FROM MARS "Fuck You" (Hate LP) If you've heard Nazis From Mars you are probably a fan. They have that power over people. Even if you're a total punk rock purist who thinks drum machines and keyboards have no place in your favorite type of music-You'll still find yourself taken under their spell. If you have heard their album and want to hear more you've probably found yourself on a fruitless search for their earlier singles. They're not easy to located....until know. This is collection of the bands early singles. some live tracks from VPRO and a couple unrelased gems as well. If you haven't heard Nazis From Mars think about the Sweet burning down the house that Atari Teenage Riot built-then go find this (Nazis From Mars and you can also read the Smashin' Transistors interview with them here)-dm

M.O.T.O. "Kill Moto" (Criminal IQ CD) I had this sitting on my desk when a friend came over and spotted it. "Who the fuck is M.O.T.O. ? I've seen that name in every message board I've ever looked at."

    "I used to wonder the same thing" I tell him "As a matter a fact one night I asked on a message board 'Who the fuck is M.O.T.O. and why should we even care' and some dude totally flipped out on me telling me to 'FUCK OFF BECAUSE M.O.T.O. IS LEGENDARY!!!'"

    This is the first stuff I've ever heard by M.O.T.O. and I can hear why someone would consider them legendary. Pushing middle aged greasy haired, stained polo shirt wearing guys that drive Chevy Nova's and sell weed to junior high school girls are people too y'know. They need rock-n-roll heroes like everyone else. Cramped in a small apartment, hunched over a 4-track, wondering what it would sound like if the Damned and Cheap Trick duked it out and singing about their dicks as the Puerto Ricans downstairs yell at them to turn it down M.O.T.O. might just be those types of guys band of choice They may live their real lives in a two room apartment, eating tater-tots, drinking Old Style and watching reruns of "America's Funniest Home Videos" but on record it's all about telling the boss to fuck off, being flanked by jail bait pussy and jumping into the hotel pool. Ahh...The stuff of legends (Criminal IQ)-dm

PINK SWORDS "One Night High" (Mortville CD) I wanna party with these guys. We could swap blackout stories. Like the one morning when I found blood, hair and gray matter in my car's front grill but I don't even remember driving. The Pink Swords are from Texas. So are the Reds. This reminds me a little bit of the Reds but from a fist pumping, fire jumping, Evan Williams drinking. pig roasting, unwed mother, trailer park view of living. (Mortville)-wkm

KAVOLCHY "ONE IN FIVE" (Squirrel 7in) There's an absolute Babes In Toyland thread running through this 3/4 female band from Leeds, England but they do their own thing with it. The guitars are a bit more dirty, the vocals aren't as artsy screechy but a bit more cigarette burned and the production isn't overdone so it sounds raw and nastier. If Sleater-Kinney had an affinity towards Motorhead's pound & groove they'd sound like this.(Squirrel Records)-dm

The MIGHTY IONS "Face Rakin' Rock-n-Roll" (Alien Snatch LP) Unless you count the Novas "The Crusher" I would have to say that in 1980 Boston's Mighty Ions (featuring former members of GG Allin's band and Unnatural Axe) invented the genre of "Rasslin' Rock." They had plenty songs about wrestling and it's (east coast) stars of the time.  The rest of their songs were about chatty girls, getting drunk, going crazy, throwing rocks at cops, working hard for a joke of a paycheck all done up in a Dictators loving way. The band had a huge following, recorded a bunch of stuff but due to their "record company" guy getting busted for bootlegging none of it was ever released til now. Since this is on Alien Snatch (and the CD version available from Dino Records) you know it's got some cool packaging. Super thick solid blue vinyl and a 24 page booklet all add to the dumb lug good time. (Alien Snatch)-dm

The FUSES "Are You Blowing Me" (Shit Sandwich 7in) A moody jangle rock affair. Put this on and get your mindset into a early 80's liberal arts college town mode. Shaggy hair (cuz that big hair is for fags), hiker boots, strong coffee, weird fabrics and too may zippers accented with second hand shops and neurotic ticks. For the lack of a trendier and/or more obscure reference think the first couple R.E.M. records (especially "Chronic Town") and beer bottle intellectualism but the hippie-ism being replaced with something darker and colder. Think trips to the record stores resulting in Joy Division nutritionalized with hamburger grease and Kool-Aid instead of fish and vinegar. A band that sounds like they played living rooms and garages on their ill-fated tour while back at home they had the #2 record on the college radio charts between the Replacements and Modern English. Twenty years later everything old is new (or is that "nu") again. (Shit Sandwich)-dm

The TEARS s/t (Trickknee CD) The single that Bancroft did by this band was A-FUCKING-MAZING so I was more than ready to give this disc a spin when Dale landed a copy on me. I think it's pretty good but the production is a little too glossy for my taste. It takes away too much of the grittiness and tones down the wild ass guitar mess the single had. The band write great songs, the guy yelps like a wildman and the girl's voice gives me a tingle below the belt but there's the missing trashed out element of the 45. I wouldn't expect them to want to dig themselves into a lo-fi rut but if they have another go around in a studio hopefully they can find a happy medium between the noise of the single and the way to professional sounding recording of this. Still one of the best new bands I've heard this year though. (Interview with the Tears at Smashin' Transistors)-wkm

MONKEY POWER TRIO ''Almost Clear" (Pocahontas Swamp Machine Recordings 7in EP) I spent all morning at my family practitioner. I've been feeling ill for the past couple of days and just can't seem to shake it. It turns out that I have quite a mixture of ailments making up a wicked flu cocktail. He prescribes bed rest and some pharmaceutical tonics. Something for the head, something for the throat, something for the stomach and some advice. "Get lots of rest. Don't do much because the medication will make you lightheaded and well, loopy." There's a message on the bottles and jars tell me to not drive and don't drink alcohol. Usually I scoff at the warning but today all I can think is "Yeah, no shit." I decide to sit myself down at the record player and give some new records a spin.

    If my head wasn't swimming enough now with this rotating on my turntable it feels like it's gonna drown. Some new age self-help guru get's his Zoloft mixed up with  lemon microdot and tries to channel the spirits of Dave Thomas (the one from Pere Ubu not the dead hamburger maker) while fighting off his want to be Lou Reed. The noise behind them as that of sawmill operators trying to makes the sounds of a soothing brook but by the time the record finishes up it ends up resembling Chrome rummaging through an scrapyard of aluminum and broken glass. (Monkey Power Trio)-dm

A ton more reviews coming really soon...Yep we're finally catching up!!!

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.Reviewers are Dale Merrill (dm), and Wayne K. Machine (wkm)

Ben Brylcreem (BB) should be turning some in soon too...