Lambs and Lions...Showers and Flowers

Reviews for March/April 2003

The CLONE DEFECTS "Shapes Of Venus" (In The Red CD)

The STUPORSTARS "Bernadette" (Honeyhole 7in) Alright!!! Smashin' Transistors favorite smut maven, Rick Hall (who has band the Stallions as well Hustler and High Society employee in his resume and it probably drives him crazy that anytime his name comes up I HAVE to mention that he works in the porno biz and even though he's told us that it ain't as glamourous as we think it would be my friends and I think that would be a kickass job. He was a managing editor! C'mon-wouldn't that be a boss work? Being in charge of YOUR OWN skin mag!!! If ya think not maybe you should be running Google searches on Bryan Adams or something) still likes to get his rock-n-roll rocks off and he's got this ragtag pack to run with. And they are BORN TO RUN! They take the Springsteen anthem ram sparkplugs up it's ass and get it all grimy with Hollywood smog! Yeah, I listened to the b-side first cuz I was curious if it was the the Bruce tune. Then I started thinking about side 1's title. Could it be the Four Tops song? Nope! It's trashy and classy. Hey Rick! Yes! I can always find use for free porn. Hook me up man! (The Stuporstars)

The POWERKNOBS "Sorority Shakedown" This cd reminds me of an old tube amp, it takes a minute to heat up but ones it going baby it is GONE. By the time track 3, "Sorority Shakedown", hits you're envisioning the dance scene from Grease, hiney biting and all and it just wont quit. Vocals like Mitch Ryder and music that you could swear you've heard before but you never have make this an instant classic to twist the night away to. (Powerknobs) review by Benny Brylcreem

The SEGER LIBERATION ARMY "Heavy Music" (Big Neck 7in) Yeah! I egged Blob Seger's yacht. What about it?!? I've heard a ton of reasons why all the Seger stuff pre "Beautiful Loser" is out of print but a favorite of mine is that him and Punch Andrews, his manager for the past 58 years (who it just so happens is also Kid Rock's manager these days), HATE all the guys who played in the band back then so if the recordings are not available there's no sales and so those guys can't collect a royalty. Pretty sneaky huh? It sucks cuz Seger is known for being the big fat ass Santa looking guy who sings "Old Time Rock-n-Roll" but there was a time when he sounded tough and ROCKED! Put on something like "Down Home" from the first Seger System album and try to tell me it wouldn't sound right on the In The Red label circa now. Members of the Dirtbombs and the New Bomb Turks provide a fat groove behind the wine lovin' preaching of the Rev. Tom Potter as he leads his store front church gospel choir of Marcie and Jason Von Bondie cracklin' through speakers from the beaches to the streets. When Seger sang about the Big Bad Beat coming on the radio in "Heavy Music" he wasn't thinking about his truck or the Mackinac Bridge. He was talkin' about goin' deeper and gettin' down. Lemme tell ya-the Seger Liberation Army can feel it! Can you? "Chain Smokin'" is on the flip and it's dates even farther back to old Bob's days in the Last Herd (who's songs would've appeared on Norton's "Hideout" collection if it wasn't for a "request by the artist" to keep 'em off it). This record will squash them puny Briefs sentiments like a nuclear powered flyswatter (Segerfile)

The WILLOWZ "That Willowz Feeling" (Posh Boy 7in) It sounds as if they majored in Lou Reed and took the Undertones as an elective in school. The teacher's grade on a curve. There's nothing really inherently bad about this stuff but the songs are...well...blah...It's jittery and jangly sorta something like the Ponys from Chicago but this lacks the graceful tension. I put on the Ponys after listening to this and I got a waaay better buzz!!! The Willowz are from California and invite you to join their street team on their website. I bet one member just recently traded in their Promise Ring CDs for some Strokes and Ravonettes vinyl... (The Willowz)

MORTICIA'S LOVERS "Rock-n-Roll Overdose" (Zaxxon Virile Action CD) This was much better than I expected. First off-there is the name. I dunno-I hear a name like Morticia's Lovers and it's kneejerk for me to think "Oh great. Another run of the mill organ driven "garage" band aping the weekday black&white rerun look." Y'know...Wrap around shades even at night, black jeans supernarrow at the cuff, pointed toed boots, white shirts with frills and a couple of members who were previously in a ska band...You know, one of those bands that can't figure out whether they wanna be the Music Machine or the Association. Then you factor in that they're Italian. "Oh great" I think "Not only all that AND they wanna sound like the Ramones." So imagine when my surprize when I slap this one and it's all jumpin' Trashcan bash! Skirt chasing cra-a-a-zy and hot for thrills these spaghetti benders are fiendin' like the Sonics in heat. They prowl rat infesting alleys trying to find a fix and get stuck in the middle of a knife fight between the Spaceshits and the Pretty Things. Mortica's Lovers come out unscathed though cuz they know their own ways to hold a stilletto blade (ZVA)

CONCUBINE FORMING "Stiff" (Big Neck 7in EP) Paging Doctor Albini. Doctor Steve Albini. There is some definite Big Black bootlickin' going on here. It's got the death metal drum machine (I can't confirm if it's name is Roland though) but a lot less precise. The guitars squeal and skid so it's like getting slashed with a rusty safety razor instead of being sliced by a laser. There's some moments though where it feels like figuring out calculus problems while having the Jesus Lizard on the headphones at cranked to ear piercing levels. (Big Neck)

LES VIPERES/LES DERAILLEURS split single (SDZ 7in.)Did you ever wish you could speak French? I didn't but I have this sudden urge to learn just so I can find out what the hell these two bands are talking\singing about. It must be good cause they've got me pretty happy and I don't even know what the fuck they're talking\singing about.Les Viperes from Québec City are coming for you with guitars vaguely reminiscent of The Mummies and vocals that kick you like The Undead's Bobby Steele, Les Viperes is some good goddamn rockin' goodness that I'd love to get my hands on a full length album of.(now if I only knew what they were talking about)I accidentally played the b-side first when i got this, but I decided it wasn't an accident it was fate. Les Derailleurs claim to be "from the most Rockin' city in Québec"(Chicoutimi) I believe it just might be possible if these guys are rockin it regularly. You can listen to it and picture

allthe pussy this Rock & Roll must be getting them, and with a five to one

ratio on girlies in their town how can you go wrong. (SDZ) review by Benny Brylcreem

BARSE "Council Estate" (Rapid Pulse 7in EP) BARSE! I like the sound of that. You go down to the bar and these guys would be playing. You could get totally hammered on ales and still scream their name between songs. "BARSE! Aaargghh!" This record is TOTALLY ENGLISH! Council estates, Chelsea bridges, blind man with a pair of scissors haircuts and bad teeth. It's not bash and , not atonal...Sorta like some guys who claimed they hated Generation X and the Boys for being pop stars but secretly were trying to come up with songs just as good. "Arrghhh FOOKIN' BARSE!!!" They're alot more dirty, smelly and dumb. The girlies ain't swarming around these ugly mugs so they get piss drunk. You can smell that, cabbage and the cheapest roast on their breath and clothes. I know there's a crowd of haters of the English classic punk rock sound that frequent here (which this is-think 1978) but I've found it to be worth a few spins already. (Rapid Pulse)

The CHARMS “Charmed, I’m Sure” (Red Car CD) Get Jim Steinman on the phone!!! Rent him a classic car (a ’57 Chevy to be obvious) with a 3 disc CD changer loaded with the soundtrack from "Pretty In Pink", a Monkees hit collection and and a comp of stuff from the Red Bird label then glue the player door shut. Feed him a bunch of grilled burgers and sno-cones made down at the Tasty-Freeze and introduce him to this band. Someone might just smell a hit. (The Charms)

The DEMONICS "Ritual On The Beach" (Alien Snatch LP) Well, the Demonics have either not come back from Dead Man's Curve or they got sick of paying the outrageous price of gas...either way they have been shunning the wheels burning off the Pacific Coast Highway and caught a plane for Hawaii. Sweet ass voodoo hula-girls carry tiki torches, bring roast pigs and amazing grass in the evening and it's hitting the surf all day. Dennis Wilson was the only Beach Boy who knew how to surf. He also partied down with Charlie Manson.. "Dennis Wilson was killed by my shadow because he took my music and changed the words from my soul" is what Manson was reported to have said after he heard about Wilson's death. Dennis Wilson is the only rocker I can think of who was allowed by the US government to be buried at sea. Maybe the Demonics got out of town before some hitchikers started talking to the cops. (The Demonics)

SUPERHELICOPTER LTD "White Nigger Rock-n-Roll" (High School Refuse 7in) "Baby, Ya gotta understand that I'm a bluesman!" It's probably the stock reply these German's use in the most broken of english drawls when asked to explain themselves to girls, psychologists and parole officers. Superhelicopter LTD have always had the broken stomp of the Oblivians with a closed head injury and here is no different. Actually, the a-side's "Blew My Cool" (which is not the Oblivians song despite the appropriated title) vocal even sounds a little bit like Jackie O'Blivian (if he had a closed head injury and his boots were on fire). It's backed with the instrumental "Honey Bunny." It's like riding on a wrecking ball through Hasil Adkin's chicken ranch (High School Refuse)

LO-LITE "Gravity" (Dull City 7in) I knew from the sheer weight of this vinyl that Gravity was definetly a-workin and had it proven by the opening twangy mud-filled notes of the track. Can you say finger-snappin' Blues from the muddy delta of the Netherlands. Once the drums kick in you know you've just been hooked like a catfish, and by the songs end youve been deep fried with some hush puppies and served for dinner.

"Mellow Down" Easy originally done by Willie Dixon, has all the sound of the Mississippi delta mud from its foot stomping drums to its muddy boogie guitar. This version of the classic is gaurun-fucking-teed to make you shake in all the right places. (Dull City) Review by Benny Brylcreem

The BellRays "Raw Collection" (Uppercut CD) I'm sure most visitors to this site are already familiar with the BellRays sound so I don't have to go into much detail. Lisa's voice is as strong as Aretha's and tough as nails. The band plays a sinewy MC5 groovin' in the hot sun grind. This is a collection of singles, compilation and unreleased tracks. (Uppercut)

NAZIS FROM MARS / THE FOREHEADS split single (Raw Sugar 7in EP) Y'know if the term Cyper-Punk didn't get bandied about to the point where Billy Idol used it as the springboard for his failed comeback Nazis From Mars could hold the trademark. Trash cans guitars that buzz like a swarm of killer bee's on crystal meth, discarded electronics that seemed futuristic in 1987 but are viewed as archaic now and a teutonic ice princess spitting spite are all utilized and pushed to the limits of vaporizing. It's amazing that their brains haven't been reduced to nothing but all ball of hiss when is all is said and done.

Is that a tuba I'm hearing on the Foreheads side? Fuck Yeah, It sure is! A marching band beat, a chord-n-a-half guitar drone and a screaming pre-teenlike vocals to go with it. Sorta like if the Raincoats were the Blue Ribbon Prize Winners of the Special Olympics talent show. (Nazis From Mars)

Blowchunks "Little Suzi" (High School Refuse 7in.) This noise filled rock fest had me checking to make sure my turntables ground hadn’t somehow gotten unhooked. Vaguely reminiscent of “Wanna Bet" era Onyas , this 45 will have you thinking you just wandered into one of their shows replete with feed back and all the lo-fi you can handle (or maybe more). Blazing guitars and drums are great but whoever mastered/produced this needs a new job. (High School Refuse) Review by Benny Brylcreem

The JACKSON 8 "Who Says It's Gots To Be Good" (Beat Kid CD) As long as there are basements and garages there will always be basement and garage bands. All ya need is a dry corner and a couple of electrical sockets to plug into a bash away. The Jackson 8 are an example in it's truest sense. Exuberance is more important than aptitude. It's about 24 cans of Jolt Cola...it's about crappy teenage love affairs...it's about having to ride the bus...This Texas trio don't care who calls them inept. This sure beats listening some whiny emo wussy and their "compositions" any time of the day. (The Jackson 8)

Z/28 "Wrecks From The Highway" (JSNTGM CD) Cars, women, aliens and red necks is what this is all about, these boys know their southern Rock & Roll. But wait what’s that you say? They’re from Scotland! Well they certainly studied their Elvis and Billy Lee Riley with some X-Files thrown in for good measure. I had to look outside to check and make sure there was still snow on the ground cause this CD made me think I was crusin’ on a summer day with the top down and a case of PBR in the cooler on the back seat with a couple of big tittied Martian girls in front gettin’ freaky. This album is a Rock & Roll must on the car radio while crusin’ the back roads of Venus. Excellent combinations of attitude filled 50's Rock-a-billy and good old fashioned Punk Rock blazin’ guitar work make this a summertime crusin’ classic (now we just need summertime and our drivers licences back). (JSNTGM) (Review by Benny Brylcreem)