DUCHESS OF SAIGON "Hootenany" (Plastic Idol 7in EP) How long ago was it when reports first started popping up that watching Pokeman was causing epileptic seizures in some kids? Hang on....let me do a quick Google search and see what I can find....
...it appears 1997 was the year...
Hmmm. That could possible for my free thought theory but I'm not quite sure. Y'see, I was thinking that may have been the thing that started to bend this duo minds. Maybe it went unnoticed to adults and little did anyone realize that Mark E. Smith had teamed up with the Plastics to do the music beds for the show and they were getting away with slipping all kinds of idiosyncratic messages that only little kids could detect. Who knows what kind of sumblimal messages they found to plant into their ADD heads...To top it off they paid a pretty gold piece or six to have Yoko Ono do make seal noises in the producers ear the entire time during recording. The final product pissed Smith off so he stole the tapes out of the studio one night and wobbles away with a bottle of Chianti in his hand. Bantam Rooster pull up to him along the highway in a XJ8 with a couple of Asian hookers and give him a ride home. One thing led to another and the next thing you know tracks are getting erased and are replaced with drumkit hammerings and tone knobs turned way up.
That was 7 years ago that the seizures were reported happening. The average age of a Pokemon fan is around 8 years old. That would make this band around the age of 15 now. This boy/girl duo may not be THAT young but it seems something similar bent their minds. (Email Plastic Idol for more info)-dm
SERVICE GROUP "Minimum R&B" (Squid vs Whale CD) I just don’t think my music collection is broad enough to categorize these guys. I’m lost for a description, fumbling for words. Hell I’ll try this... House Martins, Dag Nasty, Beatles with some Johnny Marr thrown in for shits and giggles. Kinda reminds me of those 80's valley girls, watchin’ thier heads go back and forth while they twirled their gum around a finger. And I mean this as a good thing. (Squid vs. Whale)-bb
ACTION NOW "All Your Dreams...and more (1981-1984)" (Avebury CD) If you see this CD somewhere the first thing you are gonna notice is angle the that Paula Pierce was in this band before she went on to form the Pandoras. It's a legit selling point. She wrote a majority of the songs here and her guitar playing is prominently displayed but if your'e itching to hear her voice, all you're gonna get is some back-up singing except for a live track towards the end of the disc. Still, for those interested in the Creation cum Byrds inspired paisley pop sound that was going down in the early 80's California this is worth some spins. (Avebury)-dm
M.O.T.O. "Spiral Scratch" (Shit Sandwich 7in EP) M.O.T.O.'s sound is that of one would be a 100% appropriate heard searing over an AM station on a weather beaten drive-in theater speaker some place in the midwest that time forgot. A time when Kiss, The Four Tops, Sweet, Olivia Newton-John, Black Sabbath, Lou Rawls and Boston could be packed tightly next to each other across the tinny mono frequency. A couple of acres of customized vans, big block engines and paneled station wagons with teens inside clutching such bottles as Richard's Irish Rose or Sloe Gin and Mountain Dew inside. The humid summer air is snarled with the scent of snack bar grease and smoldering homegrown. The projectionist for 25 summers had seem films about surfing student council members, sadistic bikers, reckless auto theives, cheerleaders posessed by the devil and magic Volkswagon's come an go. But the station they played through the speakers before the previews started at dusk always stayed the same. In his twenty sixth summer the Flavo shrimp rolls and the cheap whiskey finally caught up to him and stopped his heart. The guy that took his place declared that AM radio was for squares and little kids and started piping the Ramones through the speakers. All hell broke loose and M.O.T.O. is what was left standing in the ruins. (Shit Sandwich)
The FUSE! "Fishermen's Wife" (In The Red CD) This is one of those albums where I sat down with a legal pad scrawling down all the impressions that I was having while listening to it. I look at the sheet of paper and there's little brain spurts scribbled down. "Lost at sea...a rusty fish hook going through that flap of skin between the thumb and the pointer finger...Gallon Drunk homeschooled by the Monks in a run down garage with oily rags for floor covering and Captain Beefheart album jackets for wallpaper...In "Old Man and the Sea" Santiago was too stubborn to give up so we all were fucking lied to because Ernest Hemingway committed suicide...Dreaming of lions! Dreaming of lions!!"
On more I scribbled "Leather Nun sucked when they went metal-They should have went country and western...Shit, I hate snow...If it wasn't for Steinbeck's 'Tortilla Flats' I'd probably never would have influenced to develop a taste for cheap red wine...Maybe the red sun setting isn't any better than having it set behind a thick icy sheet of grayness...Dreaming of lions....Dreaming of lions...again..."
All of it scrawled in ways that would give a handwriting analyst a field day. There's also doodles of spider webs, rocket ships, cartoon looking cat faces and cuss words wrote in balloon like lettering. The paper is also kinda damp, wrinkled, splattered with burgundy spots and wilting. Sometime during all the scrawling I knocked over my jar of wine on it. Sitting here looking at it I run my fingers through my hair stressing out thinking "Man....My mind was out to sea." I listen to "The Fisherman's Wife" again for a glimmer of clarity and I realize I'm in a deep fog and nobody can see my distress flare. (In The Red)-dm
SINGING DOGS "Right Now" (Kenrock 7in EP) and "L.A.D.F." (Lo-Fi 7in EP) Sweden's Ken Rock record label always seem to have an affinity to the Rip Off records type of aesthetic. Hissy and blown out recordings, low budget packaging and a bad, bad attitude. Well, for this record they really outdid themselves. Four song packed on one side (the other side blank like guess who) and left over sleeves of the Silver Kings single the label released a few years back (and if Ken Rock is out there reading this-I'm looking for a copy of that record-mine turned up missing). The noise etched into the wax is that of a two piece shakin' a chicken foot with one hand, flipping the bird with the other getting cooked to a crispy golden brown. One side of their brain is in a grain alcohol ignition getting prepared to jump head first into swampy murk, the other has nothing occupying in except for a thrill for destruction. The type of destruction that involves guitar strings getting serrated, sticks of dynamite and prowling the wanton district of any given town. As long as the wine runs red so will the blood.
Their single on Lo-Fi is not as lo-fi as the one on Ken Rock but still makes a frothing mess. These howlin' mutts bring on a 3rd stray to join them and bark up a big bit of ripping out your heart racket. (Here's a great profile on Ken Rock records courtesy of No Brains and Lo-Fi)-dm
The GOLDSTARS "Gotta Get Out" (Pravda CD) If it was 1986 and these guys were opening for the Fuzztones I'd possibly be diggin' them. It's not '86 though and I'm wondering what's the thin line that separates stuff like this from Smashmouth. They'll probably have a song featured in some TV show on the WB very soon. (Pravda)-dm
The RADIO REELERS "Shakin' At the Party" (Dead Beat CD) Isn't it really dry and parched in Tuscon, Az? Does the arid climate leave a person brain floating in a steam bath? What happens if you play rock-n-roll and bail out of that city and relocate to one known for it's fog? Does it cause some type of fiery combustion? Well, if you're formerly of the Spites, the Weird Love Makers, the Fells, you wonder the same. Foggy towns? No! Not London, San Francisco is where you hop the bus to! Then you rank on the rip chord harder than that on an old lawnmover and open the choke all they way so everyone for blocks can hear the commotion. If the New Bomb Turks and the Rip Offs made a suicide pact-the Radio Reelers would be the highest bidders to get their tainted souls. They might have to take a loan against their own to afford it but they're just gonna make sure they get complete use out of them as they persue their own deathwish. (Radio Reelers)-dm
The AVERSIONS s/t (Die In Style LP) This Montreal band does the '77 style punk and though there's more than a few traces of English models like 999 and soccer chant sing-a-long parts they seem to have paid just as much attention to what was coming out of Australia from the era. I hear hints of the Saints in the guitars and a bit of X's Steve Lucas in the vocals all zipped up in a full blown production. (Die In Style/889 Richelieu #3/Quebec PQ/ G1R 1L1/Canada)-dm
The STEREO JUNKS "Livin Bomb" (Star Trash CD) No no! Not again! I still can't figure out what these guys are trying to prove. "The Spaghetti Incident" was not a memorable collection of punk cover tunes and even if the Stereo Junks "originals" were as twice as decent as Guns & Roses takes on that particular album they still wouldn't rank as anything worth listening to more than once for the cheap laugh let alone anything cool or punk rock. Axl has looked like a complete clown from time to time (and it seems the people of Montreal are always the brunt of his joke. Don't those retards realize that they make themselves look even more like slobbering idiots than it's already believed when they freak out? The worst part is they freaked out over a completely fake GnR. Even faker than Axl's new hairline and upperbody) but he never came off like a big posing panty waste like these guys do. Jesus H. Criminy-I rag on the Darkness but at least they get a giggle or two out of me. This is just dumb and not in a good way. I imagine in their minds they thought their studio recordings didn't match their live set so this, their "official" debut (so what was that rump rangering CDEP I got a month or so ago then???), is a concert recording. It sounds like there's 6 people in the crowd. It was probably family members, girlfriends or the other band they were playing with. I bought a used Shotgun Messiah CD for 50 cents at the Salvation Army store in Port Huron a few days ago. I got this for free and the Shotgun Messiah purchase was still a better deal. I'd rather hang out with the person who donated it to that place than hang out at with fruitbags like these Finlanders. Smack were from Finland though so I can't judge the whole country on this particular band-Smack had action! They were probably an inspiration to the Stereo Junks. They sound as if they are taking the dead members death in vain. Until Andy McCoy (who is from Finland and was in Hanoi Rocks who, from what I've had a chance to hear, were sweet) tells me differently-I'll just listen to Cinderella (who aren't from Finland and don't blow as much as this shit does!) Nice facial hair dude! (Stereo Junks)-wkm
OBLIVIANS "On The Go (First Recordings)" (Goner LP) The Oblivians were renaissance men. Either folks are totally confused or disgusted with what they did or they are absolutely vehement about how important the band is to their daily diet of musical nutrition. Obviously you can count me in the ranks of the latter group. There was some fateful day back there in the 90's when these Memphis kings first got down to the business of cross pollinating slop bucket stomp, punk rock kick and getting paid on Friday, being broke by Saturday night frustration. Here's their first recordings. You thought they sounded primitive before!!! This has the fidelity of something recorded an worn out cassette found underneath the seat of someone's grandpa's car (a few seconds of Sinatra can be heard bleeding in) on a cracked up and held together with duct tape Panasonic condenser mic'd tape recorder. Most of the songs appeared later on "Soul Food" but with this ya hear the day when their noise first fell together. Only 600 copies exist. Get 'em before their gone for good (or when the guy from the Hives who bought twenty copies of it at the Oblivians reunion show last Halloween starts selling them on Ebay for $50 a pop). (Goner)-dm
FRANCINE "Level 8" (Bluelight CD) Ya know how all these movies nowadays have russian mobsters in them? One look at this cover and the picture of the band and thats what they reminded me of (guess the crosshairs doesn’t help with the imagery). I like russian mobsters. They're always so evil in the movies. Evil=Cool. But alas no such evil inside. What you get inside is something entirely else. I hear the Rockabilly and its fighting its way out but is joined along the way by some very un-rockabilly vocals. Took all the best of rockabilly and married it to a slightly different vocal sound for an end product that resembles some jazzy/funky ass shit. (Francine)-bb
MOTORCYCLE PROM DATES/The SHUT UPS split (AMG CD) Lock the gates, baby and don't let me in! Shotgunning beers, chain smoking, ignoring curfews and speed limits...Yeah! My foot's made of lead and this wagon gonna run til the quarter panels fly off, littering the concrete with crumbling shards of rustbelt sheet metal. There's an extra battery powering 20,000 watts worth of Marshall stacks in the back. All the wiggers are cowering because I ain't bumpin' Chingy or G-Unit through the system. This system doesn't boom. It blasts! It's whiskey bottle throwin' fuckin' rock-n-roll...Motorhead, Johnny Thunders and the Fluid ripping out at a volume the strips the skin off their rotted teeth from meth smoking and goateed faces. I'm gonna build the worlds biggest beer can pyramid and tip a cow into it. The dudes in both these Wisconsin bands will be cheering me on as I dig up Vince Lombardi to use his skull as a hood ornament. (Check out the Motorcycle Prom Dates site here and to get to the Shut-Ups site click this)-dm
COOTERFINGER "Three Chords and a Grudge!" (Illbilly CD) It's safe to say that any band called Cooterfinger isn't gonna sound like Coheed and Cambria or Josh Groban (and after having to sit through both of them on a couple of occasions there really AIN' T that much difference.) Especially from the label's names and their address is a 3 digit p.o. box in a place called Blue Ridge, Georgia USA. A cynical snob like me would expect some done to death cowboy hatted, flaming dice tattoo' d, foot on the monitor for the guitar solo, hair wagging rock schtick. Listening to this it's obvious that they dwell in the deep south have a bad attitude and even worst luck with women but instead memorizing all the dumb shit the Nuge rattles off on "Double Live Gonzo" while studying issues of Hot Rod magazine from the early 70's they spent time stomping their feet in the red dirt to make huge dust clouds and looking for some new peach trees to shake. Are their those who live in the desolate countryside and listen to Lightnin' Beatman and the Standells on Sunday mornings as their gospel instead of going to church because they're too tore up from the night before? If so Cooterfinger's main man James Richard Oliver does a righteous job commanding the pulpit. (Illbilly)-dm
The FUNCTIONAL BLACKOUTS s/t (Criminal IQ LP) The day the pharmaceutical companies find a way to get the entire country under some type of prescription so they act more "normal" will be the day the Functional Blackouts will no longer be able to exist. Until then there's always gonna be twitchy guttersnipes addled on something. Something like Ritalin or Budweiser or Cough Syrup or Coffee or Cocaine or Snuff films. Somehow I bet Pfizer is all in cahoots for making them all available so they can turn them into a gateway drug of some kind and then they can create a new disorder every year so they have a new medication to sell to treat it. Ever get the feeling that the world has declared war on your mind so members of the Kill-A-Watts and the Urinals are throwing battery acid at it, shooting a tazer gun into it and jabbing at it with a broken Gin bottle. If not-here's your chance. Disorienting enough almost to where it's like listening to it fall something apart in reverse over and over again to the point where it almost makes sense. The circuits are rigged to go haywire but that's how the Functional Blackouts cope with normalcy (whatever their perception of that may be). (Criminal IQ)-dm
The SIRENS "Chez Maxines" (Wiped Out 7in EP) The vinyl debut for these Detroit Glam-Rock foxes!!! Now, for a lot of people ya say "glam rock" and they think back no farther than Poison's power ballads, Motley Crue's stripclub standards and so on. For some reason they can't, don't or won't think back any farther. They're totally missing out on the foot stomping, power chorded sing along's that were aimed straight to the crotch instead of the heart or head of the early to mid 70's. I'm talking where the men like Slade and the Hollywood Brats looked like girls and girls like Suzi Quatro would kick your ass. As a matter of fact the 3 aforementioned bands originally did the songs the Sirens chose to do on this slab. Muffy Kroha...yes as in Dan's sister...has a voice that sounds like a thousand cigarette with whiskey chasers and a million nights out late and the band, especially Melody Delicious' (the Gore Gore Girls) bubblegum chainsaw buzz of a guitar sound, chugs in line right behind her. I'm pretty partial to the bands covered on this (I had an older cousin who introduced me to "punk rock" when I was still in elementary schools ala late 70's then tracked me back by taping records onto Reader's Digest Classical 8 track collections) and these molls pass the test by putting a red-lined & revved up V-8 roar to the songs. Not only that...Whenever the Sirens play live they are hands down the best dressed band in town. (Wiped Out Records/89 Rue H. Lang/73000 Chambéry/France)-dm
The HAVE NOTS/The SOVIETTES split (Nice & Neat 7in EP) Smell the Vespa exhaust and feel the amphetamine pills burn the back of the throat when listening to the Have Nots side. Something like the Jam's "Modern World" filtered through the current fascination that Japanese guys like these have with all things power pop. Their songs stick to the eardrums like a concoction of honey and road tar.
The Soviettes are not from Japan...They aren't from the former Soviet Union either. They're from Minneapolis. They're poppy in a way but in other ways not at all. The Go-Go's as we know 'em are coming unglued so the Soviettes decided to shred the example into hundreds of pieces, stomp on it and invite the mentally disturbed neighbor kid who's always wearing a Gears T-shirt to come over and light it on fire. (Nice & Neat)-dm
BUTCHERS BILL "Quick and Painful" (demo CD-R) "Rock and Roll and smoke a fuckin' bowl dude!" Butcher Bill sure sound like a band that has at least one member that uttered that expression with no irony more than a few times. If the Supersuckers would've gotten a government patent on their sound years ago they'd probably be richer than Mick Jagger just by having the 1000's of Gibson (at least it looks like Gibsons here-For all I know they could be Ibenez's) slinging, wah petal stepping bands paying them licensing fees. This still sounds more real than that faggy Stereo Junks ep I had to review a couple of weeks ago though because these guys are from New Yawk City and look like they can stomp some ass if called for instead of running to the girls bathroom to put on more eyeliner. (Butchers Bill)-wkm
The LOCOMOTIONS s/t (Alien Snatch LP)/The BLACKS "You Don't Love Me" (Zaxxon Virile Action 7in EP) Jeez! Should I fill a whole buncha space here rattling off Martin Savage's pedigree??? The Blacks....Tokyo Knives...the Dixie Buzzards..and so on and so on...Ya know the spiel. If ya dug any of his previous stuff you aren't gonna be let down by the noise made by the Locomotions. The barbequed tang of the Blacks, the speed of sound slur of the Tokyo Knives and the licentiousness of the Dixie Buzzards. Here's a drunk ass trio having a soul bleeding at a racing heart pumping bourbon pace. Everybody is doin' and brand new dance now and even though the dance floor is slippery from hundreds of spilled beers you'll still find yourself grabbing for the nearest slab of floor and dancing to this!!! And I dunno if their version of "Locomotion" is tongue in cheek but it probably would've been best left alone though.
The songs on the Black single here date back to 1997 and it captures the band at some of their most roughed up and hot tempered. It'll will make ya wonder if every map you've ever looked is wrong and their home country of Sweden is actually smack dab in the middle of the Oblivians Memphis, dirty Detroit city and the swamps of Louisiana. (Alien Snatch and Zaxxon Virile Action)-dm
The HOSPITALS s/t (In The Red CD) Late at night when I can't sleep I usually go driving around looking for other bored up late night people. In this town they've been dwindling over the past couple of years. So I find myself channel surfing a lot in the wee hours. Discovery Health gets landed on a lot. You really have to admire what doctors do. It looks all gross and gory but there's an art and, hopefully, a genius at work. This is a perfect way to listen to the Hospitals as well. Sounding like raw exposed nerve and profusely bleeding at the ears yet underneath it there's has to be some artistry in what it's doing. It's very messy and primal fracas that is going on here but as the noise swirls around sounding like a shootout in a glass factory little things start to twist into a broken melody. (In The Red)-dm
STRAITJACKET "The Loudest Voice" (Dead Rock 7in EP) When the record started I was thinking "STIFF LITTLE FINGERS". I adored Stiff Little Fingers when I was a high schooler and these guys do it right and that's cool with me. It's not a complete grainy carbon copy like some others have done it.. .cough...Swinging Utters... cough...so it's worth a few good spins. So I go to their website and a couple of the guys used to be in a punk rock tribute band called "Stiff Middle Fingers." Good call on my part. Barbed wired vocals getting tangled in them good ol' fashioned punk rock hooks. (Straitjacket)-dm
NY REL-X "She's Got A Gun" (Dirty Faces 12inEP) The cover is punker girl shooting a handgun all done up in comic book style and bright, sick colors. Dayglo and violence! Cool pink lemonade colored vinyl too. Are the Ramones making out with the Vice Squad in a bathroom stall? The girl singer really SINGS though! Not screaming but singing. WOW! What a novel idea, huh? I didn't know they made punk rock like this anymore. Better than that shit Brody Armstrong is trying to pass off on the kids that crowd the Hot Topics. How the hell did that skank get a major label deal anyway? Oh! That's right, her old man is in Rancid. It must've been a package deal. (NYRELX)-wkm
The LIVERNOISE "Shell Of A City" (D-wreckEd-hiT 7in EP) At first glance you'd think the Silvenis bothers might be a geeky pop trio. All three of them smiling and two of them are posed holding their guitars. But when the record starts-It's for sure they're about a particular strain of Detroit Rock. Working class and rockin' in your street clothes like the Dogs, Sonic's Rendevous and Coldcock. "Shell Of A City" sums up more of what's really going on than all the romantic visions a million NME articles ever will. (D-wreckEd-hiT Records/P.O.BOX 9677/Detroit, Mi/48209)-dm
POPULAR SHAPES "Bikini Style" (On/On Switch CD) While a band like Interpol appeals to the finely adjusted white belted college kid who need some simulated "nervousness" to stand around to-The Popular Shapes would send them home all home crying to the refuge of the old Thompson Twins 12 inches they scored on their last thrift shop hunt. There's so many bands taking the "retro-foward" angle and clip the articles in CMJ and Blender applauding them for dropping the Gang Of Four and Joy Division's names in their interviews (but just sound like bad Flock Of Seagulls knock offs) and taping them on their fridge so when when people come over for a party they can read how "different" the guys in the band are but that's doesn't seem to be the case here. It's as if Le Shok wouldn't have aspired to be so obscure and alienating or if the Piranhas had a fascination with pop hooks they'd probably be hitting on what Popular Shapes are doing. There's only 9 tracks and none of their shards of sound past the 3 minute mark so you are not searching for the coffee maker wanting to make another pot just to keep up. (On/On Switch)-dm
The A-SIDES "Seeing Suzy" (Prison Jazz 7in) Garage-pop done very sprightly is what we have here. They sure don't hide their anglophile tendicies. Sharp suits and enough good hygine so they won't cause mothers to cower if their daughters brought them home for dinner. Most likely not greasy and raw enough for the majority of the Back From the Grave scuzz lovers but if yr tastes hit on the original Nuggets compilation, early Kinks, the Hollies and up to the Real Kids and you down four cups of coffee before lunchtime this'll could find a comfy place in your collection (The A-Sides)-dm
SWEET J.A.P. "Virgin Vibe" (Big Neck CD) SWEET JAP/The KILL-A-WATTS split single (Nice & Neat 7in EP) I'm always amazed how the Japanese take Western pop culture and turn it on it's ear. Now wonder what it's like for them to live in the US (Minnesota to be exact) and be totally immersed in it. The J.A.P. stands for Japanese American Princess though there's no girls in the band. I doubt a traditional Japanese father wouldn't let their daughter date these guys. They've been exposed to the lazy American life of drive-thru's, used record stores, over the counter trucker speed and 24 hour cartoon channels. It's hard to wipe that out of one's conciousness. Luckily, most rock-n-rollers don't think like traditional Japanese fathers so we can let the music blast. AND BLAST IS ONE THING SWEET J.A.P. DO! The songs are at a chop-chop velocity yet they still take the time to craft a catchy melody into each and every one. It got me thinking Registrators if they would've got turned on to drinking countless cans of Red Bull instead listening to the Vapors and the latter Undertones albums.
I don't know when exactly when the single was recorded but whether it was before or after the album it doesn't really matter cuz it's just as good as anything on it. On the other side, the Kill-A-Watts turn out their usual spazz action. If your a big Kill-A-Watts fan like me you are always gonna find picking up anything by them worthy of your entertainment dollar and their song "1977 Sunglasses" is so blazing hot it burns your internal organs! (Big Neck and Nice & Neat)-dm
The NO-GOODS "I Wanna Change" (High School Refuse 7in) Anyone familiar with High School Refuse's usual destructro fidelity may find themselves scratching their heads as this rotates on the turntable. The No-Goods' from Meppel, Netherlands, use Rickenbackers and have oodles of harmonies in the choruses. And just because their Dutch don't think the Shocking Blue....Pinstriped shirts, suitcoats & ties, hair combed forward and horned rim glasses. 60's Beat Music updated for a modern world but not losing sight of where it's rooted. Not your usual fare from this label but still a cool record. Kinda reminds me of the Fall Outs and that's a good thing. (the No Goods)-dm
v/a "It Came From Uranus" (Pro-Vel CD) Quite a decent sampling of beer battered and deep fried in beef tallow American Rock-n-Roll as it stands here in 2003. First off Wisconsin get represented by Mistreaters, though it's a track from their recent album; Sagger whip out "Black Market Body Parts" which even tops their usual Satanic boogie; Bleed pens the theme for a thousand country boy scooter trash riots with "Ready To Ride". Since the label that put this out, Pro-Vel, is based outta St. Louis, the state of Missouri is well represented to. The Lordly Serpents, The Trip Daddys, the UnMutuals, the Misses, the Cripplers and the Gentlemen Callers. I haven't heard any of them before and this comp served it purpose to give me a sampling cuz now that I've had a taste of the Cripplers and Gentlemen Callers I'd like to check out some more of their stuff. The Tyrades (Chicago) and the All Night Movers (New Orleans) also contribute some tasty morsels here too. (Pro-Vel)-dm
RED SATYRS "Suicide Rocker" (THD 7in EP) They've got enough reverb here to raise the dead or at least rattle their caskets up out of the ground. It sounds like the vocals were recorded inside of a gigantic metal coil. It definitely adds to the manic pace of the record. Play Meteors LP's at 45rpm, blast them out in a big pole barn and these guy would yell across the room at each other "It's not fast or loud enough!!!" When I watch the weather here during a Michigan winter time I think "Damn! How do I survive" then I go into my basement with a bottle of Canadian rye whiskey, a two liter of Faygo cola, turn my guitar up to noise ordinance violating volumes and think "Shit, at least I'm not snowed in and frozen under in Minnesota." These guys are from Minnesota....sounds like they do the same thing yet are thinking "Shit, at least I'm not snowed in and frozen under in the Northwest Territories of Canada". (Red Satyrs)-dm
The UNDERTAKERS "13 Savage Garage Punk Rippers" (No Brains LP) These recordings date back to 1991. That was a black hole era for things that sounded like this...ESPECIALLY for freaky and creepy fuzzed out Farifisa and Voxx shattering's that this band made. "The Sixties Return" movement of the mid 80's didn't do much other than give the Grateful Dead it's only ever chart hit and 95% of the bands that were attempting the sound had more in common with the Beatles and the Byrds than the Sonics and the Stones. This was recorded during the days of grunge and this is alot sounds more bitter and splattery. An unadulterated footslog of dirty noise and liquid lights. A member or two went on to form the Spider Babies and this was recorded by Fred Cole. (No Brains)-dm
The SAFES "Family Jewels" ( O'Brother CD) What? Am I suppose to be reviewing Material Issue CDs now? My girlfriend likes a lot of stuff like this but it's not up my alley at all. I should have her ghostwrite this review for me but she's at work right now and Dale is bugging me to turn some more reviews in. (The Safes)-wkm
The BAMBOO KIDS "Suck The Life Right Out Of Me" (Pro-Vel 7in) There's a Nick Lowe/Elvis Costello on a drinking binge thing going on here. Enthusiastic and dressed in a grease stained t-shirt, sounding perfect in a place where the old bar stool fabric is held together by duct tape and the room reeks of Lucky Strikes and the stale smell of the spilled draft special traditionally based rock-n-roll. Sorta like if Stiff records started up today, were based in New York and this was one of the first bands signed to label. (Bamboo Kids)-dm
F-HOLE "...Gives A Fuck" (F-Hole 7in EP) They say they give a fuck but do they really? It doesn't sound like they don't care what others think is cool. That's what makes real punk rock to my ears. 5 short songs that sound like they should be coming out of ghetto blaster speakers at a skatepark. That is if skateparks played cool music. Now it's all Wu-Tang and MxPx (actually-I haven't been to a skatepark in a few years now and part of the reason I stopped was because of the bullshit wigger gangsta super moves that were going down-like everything else in the world-I imagine it hasn't got any better.) Just fast and quick and dirty. They could've open for the Circle Jerks (when they were good) as well as the Lazy Cowgirls (when they were good) and fit right in at either place.(Available from Underground Medicine)-wkm
The CUTS "2 Over Ten" (Birdman CD) I'm sitting here at the computer but I'm actually just looking out the window and daydreaming. Just staring out at the dreary sky and watching the cold rain draining off the roof and dripping down. Nightfall is setting in and it wont make much difference either way. The sun can't cut through the constant grayness this part of the country is cursed with every winter season. I'm drifting off....Hoping my mind puts me somewhere in a mental place where there's a sun that warms and sweet northern breezes coming off the Lake Huron beaches take the edge off. A place where Tom Verlaine and Richard Hell never had a falling out, took time to look at the wild flowers and took WAY less time on noodling. A place where Mick Fleetwood told Lindsay Buckingham he could join the band but the "chick would have to go" cuz he had his hopes set on Patti Smith. A place where I can sit on a balcony, let some sweet grass swirl in my brain enjoying Humble Pie's "Town and Country" at a volume not to interfere with the Episcopalian Church music across the street with that I'm listening to with the other ear. "2 Over Ten" puts me in a place like that. When the "Blackout of 2003" hit this summer I was out of power for a few days. I have friends that live 20 miles up the road on the lake who had their power restored only a few hours after it all happened. Your damn right I took a ride out there. I just had the air conditioning recharged, a full tank of gas and this in the player. For two summers straight whenever I took a ride up that way I always had a copy of the Cuts first album in my ride and this took it's place. (The Cuts)-dm
ANNA and the PSYCHOMEN "Wild Mama" (Lo-Fi Records 7in EP) Hotfooted rock-n-roll in the Rip Off Records style from Italy. Hey, the Atom Smashers are Italy and are on Rip Off. I could insert an Atomsmashers joke here (they even thank Atom himself on the record) but this has got something good going on. All you with zombie souls, the Misfits in your blood and have reoccurring wet dreams involving Lili and Cecilia of the No-Talents should be hunting this down. (Anna and the Psychomen)-dm
SCAT RAG BOOSTERS "Boogie Man" (Kryptonite 7in EP) I remember seeing an ad for a record by this band a few of years ago that claimed Mick Collins called them the "Best garage punk blues band out there"....or something to that effect. Let me tell ya that I believe that Mick Collins is more fly than Superfly so I don't think he'd steer me wrong (yeah-I may be RAWK dude here but the music that Mick Collins makes is that of one bad ass motherfucker and that can't be denied so take your assumptions and choke on them!!!) and as luck would have it, he didn't! This is raw dog trashy rockin' stuff. Really violent and desperate sounding. The Smashin' Transistors library proudly claims it has everything by them. I'm gonna have to start digging through the piles (because there's NO filing system to the madness there at all) and listen to some more. It makes me wish I was in Port Huron the past Labor Day weekend because I think I might've missed a really good live band. (ed note: YOU DID!). (Kryptonite)-wkm
The DUTCHMEN/VELCRO LEWIS and his 100 PROOF BAND split single (Shit Sandwich 7in) There's a guy a couple of blocks over that has a '72 Dodge Charger. Every few months or so he starts telling people he's considering selling it...but he never does. He's always changing his mind. Still, everytime tongues start wagging in the neighborhood that it might possibly be for sale-I book right over there trying to make a deal. It's a sweet ride. I don't want it so I can drive down to Power's Hamburger Stand on Saturday nights when the weather is warm, lift the hood, listen to the "Good Times/Great Oldies" station and swap drag racing down Metcalf road stories that never really happened. I want it so I drive around swigging bottles of Boone's Farm and looking for chicks that wear Alice Cooper "Killers" crop topped t-shirts. I need a big bottomed rock groove for my soundtrack. The Dutchmen sound like they're the guys for the job.
The Velcro Lewis and hus 100 Proof Band side might fit for they same type of adventure too but they really sound more like they'd be the perfect accessory noise for a beat-up bodied pick-up with a monsterous motor that you'd take out when hunting racoons and gulping down Richard's Wild Irish Rose or something even a bit more lethal. (Shit Sandwich)-dm
The FLIP-TOPS "Secrets and Lies" (Vinyl Warning 7in EP) "Secrets and Lies" is supercatchy tune! Pogo-poppy Generation X pouts while throwing beach punk punches. It's striving for the epitome of punk rock aching heart break-up tunes and it hits pretty close to it's target. The flips "Hitman" is a sped up slasher and "Cold Blood Black Heart" is a cross between the two. (Vinyl Warning)-dm
CHEERLEADER 666 "Gutter Days" (Sonico 10in) Shit, man. I suppose everyone that has been reading my reviews is thinking "What the fuck is that Wayne K. Machine's deal. Does he not like Rock-n-Roll?" Yes! I do. And for the most part Dale is assigning me music that I should be into. I admit to liking RAWK-BUT it HAS TO ROCK and a lot of the stuff getting passed my way just doesn't do it. Hell, I've got friends who don't want to hang out with me for having the balls to say that Turbonegro's "Scandinavian Leather" blows. I know they're legends and stuff but I'm sorry the record is an overhyped waste of 45 or so minutes. Epitaph can go ahead and do all the product placement they want but it ain't going to stop the record from being lackluster. TURBONEGRO ONLY DID ONE GOOD ALBUM...the same with The Hellacopters. I always have wondered why they were always rumored as the next big thing yet could never get a major label deal in the US. Glucifer have a couple of good songs but I'd rather listen any James Gang record any day of the week (even the shit without Joe Walsh) before I'd want to listen to one of their full-lengths in it's entirety. Actually, I'd rather listen to Slayer's "Reign In Blood" at home and the Ramones "Rocket To Russia" in my car if I only had the choice of two records ever (well, if I could finagle I'd try to work in AC/DC for Sundays and holidays too). The Demons sucked since day one.They never even have one good song. Dude, the MC5 has some good songs on "Kick Out The Jams" but go into to many jazz parts and "Back In the USA" is wimpy as shit. "High Time" is okay but so would most things following "Back In The USA." Even the Supersuckers, who I've been fed up with for years, made a few decent albums. Not as many as Motorhead though but then again Motorhead never made as many good albums as AC/DC. Nothing can top AC/DC! So I hope it makes you understand where I am coming from.
I LIKE THIS! It kickstarts like a big ole highway hawg then does 120 mph down the road. They don't sound like hair losing, tennis shoe and baggy jean wearing aging guys who have their name on a barstool. They sound like they're young, skinny full of aggression, leather clad and enough cash to pick up a round or 10. YES! It's like someone took Ace Frehley's Comet and the Dwarves during the "Thank Heaven..." period, put in at mixing bowl filled with cocaine and Thunderbird wine, baked it for an hour and served it up piping hot to the ghost of Phil Lynott right after just getting done giving bass lessons to Sid Vicious. Fuck, This might even replace Superjoint Ritual's spot in my CD changer.
One more thing-FUCK THE DARKNESS! (Sonico)-wkm
The DETONATIONS "Victim" (Rhinestone 7in) "Holy Flamin' Groovies, Batman!" The song "Victim" has got it a Royal Flush going on in that department. Chuck Berry breaking the speed barrier, two note piano, some girls getting drunk and singing backups. A party ensues and nothing is gonna get the stains out of the carpet the next morning. The flips "Raymen" is a bluesy mostly instro call-n-response stomper...decent...but the a side is the big winner here cuz it's a whole lotta fun. (The Detonations/5012 Dauphine St/New Orleans, La/70117/USA)-dm
The STAR SPANGLES "Bazooka!!!" (Capitol CD) Yeah, yeah! I've heard all the negative stories about these kids from my New York City connections. Everything from how they suck live to their pissy rock star attitude, from how they're posers and statements of them being nothing more than a NYC rock version of the Monkees. In a lot of ways-it reminds me of the sentiments that me and other like minded Detroit acquaintances have towards the Go. I wonder if the singer in the Star Spangles keeps a journal filled with notes like "The red shirt goes well with the blue slacks", "point to all the hot girls when singing particular verses" and "act more wasted" too. I dunno-I've haven't seen the Star Spangles live but there's some songs on "Bazooka!!!" really stick in my head. This is what the Replacements "Tim" SHOULD have sounded like! "Tim" was sorta flat sounding like all the rough edges were sanded off and a ton of Dolby was put into effect during mastering just to make sure. Irony abounds. The 'Mats "Tim" was produced by former Ramone Tommy Erdelyi. The Star Spangles used Ramones producer Daniel Rey along with former Devil Dogs bassist Steve Baise to twiddle the knobs. The thing is it doesn't sound like there was much knob twiddling. It's sounds loud and messy though not too much to alienate the youngsters who that think the Hives are "wicked lo-fi" and are realizing that the only decent song on JET's album is the one they're playing on the radio yet not too much sheen to have an already suspicious me turn my nose up at it. The Star Spangles aren't gonna save the world. They aren't innovative in anyway but they seem earnest...Maybe I'm being bamboozled but there's some songs here done up in a raggedy second hand power pop style that I don't mind coming from my speakers from time to time. (Star Spangles)-dm
If ya wanna read some previous record reviews CLICK HERE
If ya wanna get back to Smashin' Transistors front page CLICK HERE
Reviews for Jan./Feb. 2004
The reviewers are Dale Merrill (dm),Wayne K. Machine (wkm) and Benny Brylcreem (Yep! He turned some in)(bb)
